Reactions to Teasing - Red Heads
Reactions to Teasing
A ‘reaction’ is what a teaser wants, a payoff, to see the effects.
If there’s no victim and no reaction, the tease really isn’t ‘valid.’The teaser is pleased when there is a response or reaction and will continue it because they are getting this payoff. If someone wants the teasing to stop, it may help to try to control his reactions even though it's tough to do sometimes. For some people, being teased is no big deal and only a minor issue. But for some it’s a MAJOR problem. All depends on where it happens, by whom, the audience seeing it, the relationships, frequency, and the redhead’s own self-image.  
And of course, for the red-headed victims of teasing, reactions to it vary. Whether a girl or boy, man or woman....No two people react the same way.One of my redheads pointed out her reactions to teasing depend on the person and how they say it and even the circumstances. Saying the same phrase or word by one person can be taken as negative teasing OR can be seen as a friendly tease that is no big deal.......
It all depends on the one who says it, how it’s said, and the intention behind it. 
Is it someone you like?
Was it by someone who likes you or dislikes you?
Was it intended to hurt you or lovingly affirm you in a way?
Was it intentional or an accident?
Was it on purpose?
How the teasing is done matters too.
I think we intuitively know the answers to these, although sometimes we can misread people and get it wrong. Sometimes we just take comments the wrong way or are too sensitive....
But usually, a tease is just that: A way for a bully get you to react!  (Please share with us how YOU handle teasing...It might help someone else. Just click HERE to go to my "Advice From Redheads" page.)
I’ve tried to break this into 2 groups:
(1) Reactions to teasing
(2) Warning symptoms
-- RESPONSES and REACTIONS TO TEASING -- - feel anger, humiliation, and embarrassment
- may hide feelings
- may blush and then embarrassed because it won’t stop
- may feel hurt, scared
- may feel sad and lonely
- may feel helpless and out of control of situation
- may not want to go to school or play outside
- may have difficulty doing schoolwork because of worry
- want to dye hair so not get picked on
 - may feel physically sick from the stress of bullying
- try to hide hair under scarves and hats
- envy others who don’t have red hair and/or freckles
- hate the questions, being different, or stared at
- hate feeling like an outcast or outsider
- want people to stop touching your hair
- want to be like everyone else, ‘normal’
- want to be able to ‘tan’ and not have freckles
- hate how teachers target redheads
- feel like the red hair is a curse
 - worn out by merciless teasing
- hate feeling conspicuous and self-conscious
- tired of getting into fights because of bright red hair
- feel like a misfit or ugly duckling
- tired of kids thinking you’re ugly
- tired of normal feelings being trivialized and then blamed on the red hair
- feel that if you had ‘normal’ hair color the ‘normal’ feelings and reactions would be accepted or dealt with differently
-- WARNING SIGNS --
(please don’t dismiss these - DO something!)- may pretend to be ill to avoid going to school or ride bus
- may hate school in general and/or riding the bus
- may have trouble sleeping and/or have nightmares
- may have a drop in school grades or cut classes
- may have trouble eating
- may come home with bruises from fighting
- may actually become ill because of the stress and anxiety
- may have low self-esteem and/or a fearful attitude
- may ‘lose’ lunch box or lunch money (may have been stolen)
- may come home wearing different clothes because clothing taken or was in a fight
- may not want to play at recess or in the neighborhood after school
  
Action by grownups and relatives is important. Bullying and teasing bothers everyone — and not just the kids who are getting picked on. It can bring fear into the environment and lead to more stress and even violence for everyone. (Some of this from excellent book called Teasing by Linda Sones Feinberg.)
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